Where will I live? Do I have to go to a gym?”
I knew some people who were willing to send their best and brightest for a scholarship.
But I wanted to be able to have a real life. I liked being around people who liked me.
In the summer of 2012 I started hanging out on the street. I was in a little bit of trouble. They had found out about my involvement. They were threatening to kick me out of the program if I continued to hang around the schools.
Eventually, I just left.
I wasn’t homeless. I had an opportunity to turn around my life around by enrolling my high school in a private school system.
Before I went to those private high schools, my mom had already started to take me to church. I used to listen as she talked about Jesus and praying. I used to love to sing gospel songs with other kids.
But now that I had enrolled in private school, all of my music and other hobbies were shut down for the next eight years.
There weren’t enough public programs in my area.
I had a scholarship and a decent amount of money. I had to work.
I wasn’t going to give up.
For 12 months I lived with my mom, my sister, my little brother… I lived a quiet and quiet life without running away or being bullied because I wasn’t allowed on the street. No one ever asked me if I was crazy.
Things were getting better.
I came home one day to find my mom and I having sex and that was that and I never saw my mom again and no one ever saw me again.
My life was a shell of what I once was. I could have been a doctor, but I was too shy. I knew how the world worked and I knew how life worked out without having to deal with it. I knew how to handle things.
For the next 10 years I never had to interact with my mom or my sisters and I didn’t even see my mother’s other little sister.
At 22 years old I was a grown man.
I was doing what I had been dreaming of doing every day before. I could be a real man.
I just weren’t ready for a life without being around people.
But I realized too late that I was too busy to just relax and just be. Now I had to think. I had to plan