I really don’t want to ask a ton of these because it really seems such a stupid thing to say, but I think there are some kinds of coaches that would make excellent counselors. They might be able to teach you how to work up the courage to go there and get out of someone else’s personal hell — it might feel awful but you really do need to know yourself to know why you have to go. Someone like that would be the ideal therapist. Someone like that would be good at getting you to understand your self-destructing insecurities — and maybe even help you overcome them.
I know you don’t care and you don’t want to talk about it as much as most of us do, but I’m having trouble with my own mental health right now. I haven’t been to a therapist since last year though, right? I’m supposed to talk to a counselor about this and I just don’t want to do it. I don’t want to know that I’m mentally ill when there’s another person in the room with me as one of my friends. I just don’t want to do this.
This is the thing: it’s really, really hard for me to be in my head when I’m not with a therapist, even though I don’t really need one. I go through my normal life because of my anxiety and fear, and I am really really afraid of dying. I don’t want to die. I’ve had more doctors or counselors telling me how to live my life than I can count. I never tell anyone because people don’t understand — they just think it’s my depression and it can be fixed. I just feel so embarrassed about that. It’s hard to tell people what is going on in my head and what I am afraid of when I’m afraid and anxious. I think most of the people in this list would know how to tell me if I was worried, but they need more help. They need to know about my internal conflicts or fears.
I’m scared for the future. Like, I don’t really think I’m ready to start a family, I’m not sure what I want to do for fun in the future, and I also don’t want to be an alcoholic. I’ll make these decisions when they are appropriate based on the choices I make in the present. But I don’t know. I don’t really like the thought of being married, I’m not sure I can handle it, and maybe I just have no experience at it.
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